


Loving Lena

by Tredman14



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Child Abuse, F/F, Past Sexual Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-11-16 02:18:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11244291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tredman14/pseuds/Tredman14
Summary: Trigger warning for child abuse/molestation, suicide, rapeThe beginning is pretty rough, but it gets a little less angsty as it goes on.Learning about Lena's past, Kara has to figure out how to help her love herself.I suck at summaries. :(





	1. Becoming Lena Luthor

**Author's Note:**

> This is pretty rough to get through in this first chapter. Bear with me because it is going somewhere.

The room was large and sparsely furnished. Containing only a bed, dresser, and desk. It's walls were off white with dark wood wainscoting and trim. It was too dark and too grown up. It was nothing like her old room. The room she had before the orphanage. She missed her purple room, she missed her toys, but most of all she missed her mother. At four she wasn't sure what dead was, but she knew it meant her mother was never coming back. She had a new family now. The Luthors had chosen her. And yet, it didn't feel like they actually wanted her. Except Lex. Her new big brother liked her. They played chess together and she won. That did seem to please her new mother. She squeezed her teddy tight and sighed. Maybe being Lena Luthor wouldn't be so bad. 

 

“LENA!!!” The shout echoed through the manor. The seven year old brunette rolled her eyes. What had she done now? It was always something. She couldn't please her mother. No matter how much she excelled it was never enough. “LENA!!!” The shout rang out again and the girl picked up her pace coming to a screeching halt in front of her imposing mother.  
“Yes, Mother.”  
“What have I told you about giving your father gifts?” The statuesque Lillian Luthor demanded holding up the offending object, a lumpy clay ashtray.   
“We made them in school,” the little girl said nervously. Lillian reached out and slapped her daughter hard across the face.  
“You will answer the question you are asked?”  
“I'm only to give him gifts on his birthday, father's day, and Christmas,” Lena recited. “I'm sorry, Mother.”  
“Don't think I don't know what's going on. I don't want you spending anymore time alone with your father. I won't have you seducing my husband in my own home.”  
“I... I'm not... I don't know what that means,” the child stuttered.   
“You know very well what it means, and I won't stand by and let it happen. If I catch you alone with your father you will be sorry.”  
“Yes, Mother,” Lena said her young brain very confused. She immediately went to her dictionary to look up the word seducing. Her eyes widened in shock. How could her mother think that? It was gross.   
“What did you do this time?” Her brother asked sauntering into her bedroom.   
“I gave Father a gift,” Lena said. “I guess I was seducing him.”  
“Do you even know what that means?” He asked walking to stand in front of her. Lena held up the dictionary in response. “Yeah, but do you actually know what it means?”  
“No,” Lena admitted.   
“I thought so. You're too little to understand.” He said dismissively.   
“No I'm not,” Lena challenged. She wasn't too little for anything. If Lex could do it, so chould she. It didn't matter that he was eleven years older. She was smart, very smart.   
“Okay, then it's about love,” he said. “It's what you do when you love someone. Do you love anyone?”  
“I love you,” Lena said.  
“You do? I love you to Lena bug. Do you want to make your big brother really happy?” He asked grinning at her. Lena nodded her head vigorously. Of course she wanted to make him happy. “Good,” he said taking her hand and placing it on the outside of his trousers over his genitals and rubbing.   
“Lex, no,” Lena said trying to pull away. In school she learned she wasn't supposed to touch anybody there. Her brother wouldn't relent though. “Please,” she begged.  
“It's okay, bug. It's okay. It feels so good, and you're making me so happy. You said you weren't too little to understand.”  
“But...”  
“Do you want me to be happy? Do you want me to love you?” He asked sternly.   
“Yes,” she said quietly.   
“Then do it,” he said softly.

 

“Hey, Lee, what are you doing?” Lex smirked walking into his sister's room and closing the door. Lena looked up at him, that spark of fear erupting anytime her brother appeared.   
“Homework,” she said. “It's pretty important too so I don't have time to talk.” In her nine year old mind that seemed like a good enough reason to get the older boy to leave.   
“That stinks,” he said walking over to her side and toying with her hair. It was going to happen again, she could feel it. She would try to fight though. She pushed his hand away.   
“Leave me alone, Lex,” she said firmly. “I have work to do. If it's not perfect I'll get in trouble.” He grinned to himself at that. He liked it so much better when she played the game. Lena fascinated him. It wasn't about the sexual gratification, not that it wasn't a perk. It was about the power. His ability to control another human being so easily.   
“Don't be like that, bug,” he said stroking his sister's face. “You know I'm only here because I love you. I just want you to be happy. You love me too right? You want me to be happy?” She nodded because she did love him and she did care about his happiness. She just wished it wasn't at the expense of her own. “Good,” he smiled reassuringly. “I want you to do something new.”  
“What is it?” she asked tentatively. Wasn't letting him rub himself on her enough. Her eyes widened in fear as he unbuttoned his pants and pulled out his penis for the first time. “Lex?”  
“It's okay, sis. I just want you to touch me. Here let me show you how to make me so happy. You'll love it, and I'll love you.” He smirked, it was just too easy. 

 

She didn't want to do it. She never wanted to do it, but she had to, right? She wanted her brother to love her so when he asked her to come to his party at school. She didn't hesitate. How many 12 year olds got to go to a college party? Lena was special. Lex had told her that so many times. She wasn't like the other girls at her school. She was much too smart and mature to hang out with kids her own age. She'd fit in so much better here.   
She wasn't fitting in though. She looked like a little kid compared to these people. True she was finally starting to develop a figure. Her mother having just chastised her for her breast growth as if she could stop it from happening. If only she had been allowed to wear make up, or some more mature clothes, then she might fit in. She stood awkwardly by the wall looking around for Lex. He had only gone to get her a drink. How long could that take?   
“Here you go,” he said approaching her from the opposite direction and handing her a plastic cup. Lena took a drink and nearly spit it out.  
“What is this?” She asked revolted.  
“It's just a little something to help you relax. You're so uptight and people are noticing. If you could unwind a little, you'd make friends easily. I'm your brother, I love you. I'd never let anything happen to you.”  
Two drinks later, Lena wasn't 100% sure she knew what was going on around her. Lex had danced with her. Even a couple of the older boys had danced with her. His friends had all started talking to her. She was reasonably sure she was actually having fun before Lex brought her upstairs to his room at the frat house. She felt tired and a little sick. She was grateful her brother was there to take care of her. He sat her down on the edge of his bed. She attempted to lay back, but her stopped her.  
“I'm so tired,” she said drowsily.   
“Yeah that happens at these things, but you can't sleep until you pay me back for bringing you.”  
“What?” Lena asked confusion written all over her face.  
“Lee, you can't just come up to a college party with the guy you love and just sleep after,” Lex said.  
“It isn't like that,” the brunette said. Her fear sobering her up some. “You're my brother, not my boyfriend.”  
“How can you be so cruel?” He asked faking grief. “I thought you really loved me.”  
“I do,” Lena said quickly, “but we can't be boyfriend/girlfriend. It isn't right, Lex. You must know that.”  
“I know I love you, and I want you. That can't be bad. Besides we aren't even really related. You're adopted. There is nothing wrong with this,” he responded. Looking at his little sister to see if he had convinced her yet. He needed something new from her, and so did a couple of buddies since he owed them. Lena finally looked up at him. He could see in her eyes two things. One, she was drunk, and two, he had her.   
“You're right, I'm sorry.”  
“It's okay, Lena bug. I'll always love you,” he said stroking her hair. “Take it out. I'm dying I want you so bad.” Lena did as instructed but stopped her movements when her brother grabbed her wrist. “Not like that, baby. I want you to put it in your mouth.”  
“No way,” Lena said shaking her head. That was just nasty.   
“You don't love me,” he said angrily.   
“I do, but please Lex, I don't want to do that. Why can't we just keep it how it has been?”  
“Because I need more. If you can't give it to me, then I'll have to find someone else who will. Do you want me to forget about you and love someone else.” Lena steeled herself against the fear and disgust and did as he asked. Her eyes shot open when she heard people enter the room. “Don't stop,” Lex said holding her head in place. She saw the two other boys pull out their penises and she understood exactly what she was intended to do. What could she do though? Lex was the only person in the world who loved her. She couldn't lose him.

 

She was promised a home, instead she got sent to hell. Her father was never around. Her mother openly hated her. And Lex... she wasn't sure about her brother. He said he loved her all the time. He was there for her, and then tonight he raped her. NO... NO... it wasn't like that. He told her it was time to take the next step. If she wanted to keep his love she had to let the relationship progress. It was okay, because they weren't blood, not real family. Her 13 year old mind couldn't understand it. Lex was older. She trusted him and loved him. She only wanted to be loved, so she let him have her. God how it hurt. Still hurts. If what they did was right, why did everything feel so wrong?   
She huddled on the shower floor and let the hot water scald her. Tears rolled down the drain mixed with blood and water. She wanted to die. That was nothing new. She hadn't planned it, she had nothing ready. No letter and she had really wanted to write that, but it was all too much. It took only a moment to retrieve a blade and it was done. She watched fascinated at just how quickly the blood flowed. She closed her eyes peacefully at the relief of it all.  
Her first thought was that this wasn't right. The light and the sounds were all wrong. She was alive. Things were definitely all wrong. Her eyes fell upon her mother glaring down at her. As disappointed as the other woman was, she couldn't be nearly as disappointed as her daughter.  
“Why, Lena? Are you trying to ruin this family?” The young girl chuckled at that and rolled her eyes.   
“No mother,” she smirked, “just myself.”  
“You listen to me you little brat. Everything you do reflects on this family. These childish attempts to get more of your father's affections will not work. I won't be telling him and neither will you.” Her eyes flashed in triumph. “Now get dressed, we're leaving.”  
“I don't feel well,” the young brunette sighed.  
“Don't mistake me for someone who gives a damn,” Lillian whispered angrily, grabbing her daughter's arm and yanking her from the hospital bed.  
“You're hurting me.”  
“I don't want to Lena, but you make it necessary. Get dressed now!” Lena obliged because she had no choice. She allowed her mother to lead her out, woozy and weak, back to the life she so desperately wanted to escape. 

 

 

Lena wasn't really there. She spent the last two years disappearing inside herself whenever Lex needed to shower her with his affection. She was 15 now and no longer a child. She knew it was wrong to be doing this with her brother. She wanted to be loved so badly she was willing to trade her body for it. In a few more minutes it would be over and he would just be her big brother again.  
Something was wrong. Her eyes snapped open as he was ripped off of her.  
Lillian.  
“What have you done?” She screamed. For one brief moment Lena believed her mother had saved her. Then she realized she wasn't yelling at Lex. Her wrath was directed at her. “I knew you were sick when you tried this on your father. I should have protected you better my boy. My beautiful boy.” Lena looked at her brother waiting for him to say something. Waiting for him to tell their mother they were a couple and in love. She was waiting for him to say anything to make Lillian understand.   
“I'm sorry I was weak mother.” He cried, bowing his head. “I'm sorry I fell for her tricks.”  
“Well this is just great, “the teenager groaned, covering herself with the sheet. “You're really blaming me? Are you insane? Why? Why did you even adopt me? You hate me.”  
“Yes, and I never wanted you, but Lionel had to have his daughter. His real daughter. I knew all along you'd be a whore just like your mother.” Shock wasn't a strong enough word to describe how she felt. As smart as she was she didn't know a word that could accurately describe the feeling of finding out that Lionel was her real father and Lex her real brother. She looked from Lillian to Lex. He smiled deviously at her.  
“You knew.” The words came out a whisper and she was quickly silenced by her mother's hand around her throat. Lillian didn't want to hear anymore about how that slut had corrupted her poor son.   
She was going to kill her. Lena was sure of it.  
“You will never speak of any of this to anyone,” Lillian said tightening her grip. “Or I will kill you with joy. Nod if you understand.” Lena did her best to nod. “Good,” the older woman said releasing her. “Tomorrow you'll be headed to a new school out of country. You will be the Luthor you were raised to be.” What could Lena do, but acquiesce. As it turned out, being Lena Luthor sucked.


	2. A LIght

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little light in Lena's life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not as dark as the first chapter, but does still deal with some heavy topics. Thanks for all the feedback. I appreciate all the comments, and I'm glad people are enjoying the story. Also, I proofread this myself so I'm sure there are some mistakes. I'm really sorry for that.

“Lena! LENA!,” The brunette snapper her attention back to the present. She was in her office, on her couch with Kara. “Are you okay?” The blonde asked reaching out to place her hand on her friends arm.  
“Yes, I'm sorry,” Lena said with a smile. “I just zoned out for a minute. I am so sorry, Kara. I haven't been sleeping well. That must be it.”  
“Are you sure? If there's something on your mind. You can always talk to me.”  
“I'm sure,” Lena responded quickly. “Now what were you saying? Something about an event a CatCo?”  
“A celebration actually,” Kara replied hesitant to change the subject, but not wanting to press the issue. Whatever was bothering her friend, she wasn't going to talk until she was ready. “I'm sure you'll be on the guest list, but I... Well... I was wondering if you would want to go with me? Friends... I'm not hitting on you...” She was going to, but after what just happened it didn't feel right. Lena's face fell at Kara's words and the blonde suddenly realized how that had sounded. “I didn't mean it like that... I meant... it's just... you are magnificent... and I'm just...”  
“Kara,” Lena chuckled cutting off the ramble that could have potentially gone on forever. “I'd be happy to go with you. Are you sure you want to take me? As you said, I'll be receiving an invitation, maybe there is someone else you want to accompany you. A date? Mike perhaps?” She prayed her nervousness wasn't showing.   
“Mike! No, no, no,” Kara quickly refuted. Why did everyone think she liked him? Mon El is so not her type. Maybe this was it. Maybe now was the moment to be brave. “Actually...never mind,” she waved the thought away. No now was not the time. No, I can do this. I will not chicken out. “Iwantyoutobemydate,” she blurted out as quickly as she possibly could.   
“Sorry?” Lena questioned. “I didn't catch any of that. You're going to have to slow down.  
“I want you to be my date,” Kara said unable to look at the other woman.   
“Kara,” Lena said reaching out and tipping the other girl's face up. “I would be honored.”  
“Really?”   
“I'm looking forward to it,” the brunette smiled. Kara smiled brightly back, a blush creeping up her cheeks.  
“This is amazing. I'm so glad I didn't chicken out after all,” she said though it seemed like she was saying it to herself. Which apparently she had meant to do. “Pretend you heard none of that, okay?” She meekly squeaked out. “I should go,” she said motioning to the door.  
“Of course, I heard nothing. Lunch was wonderful, thank you,” Lena said walking the blonde to the door. “And Kara, I'm sorry for drifting off earlier.”  
“It's fine. Just do me a favor and try to get more rest.” Kara tentatively leaned forward placing a kiss on the brunette's cheek.   
“I will,” Lena grinned watching the other woman walk away before returning to her desk.

 

The scream pierced the silence of the room. Lena shot up from her pillow, panting, completely soaked in sweat. She tried to calm her breathing as she mumbled over and over again that it was just a dream. She hadn't had them in years, and couldn't figure out why all these thoughts were surfacing now. She had worked so hard to bury them.  
Lena climbed out of her bed and headed to her bathroom, shedding her sweat soaked clothes on the way. She stepped under the cool spray attempting to wash the thoughts away with the sweat. She couldn't shake the feeling that Lex's hands were on her. She bolted to the toilet and vomited. 'I won't go through this again,' she thought straightening up.  
“Lena?” A voice called tenuously. A familiar voice. Kara's voice. 'No, not Kara. Supergirl,' the young CEO thought. “Lena?” The hero questioned getting closer. Lena grabbed her robe and quickly covered herself, meeting the other woman in her bedroom.  
“To what do I owe this unexpected visit?” She asked tying her robe.  
“I heard you scream,” Supergirl stated. “I was worried something bad was happening. I thought someone was attacking you.”  
“Just a nightmare,” Lena said flatly as if all was forgotten and it wasn't completely effecting her. “This isn't really what the key is for either, Kara. I gave it to you in case there was an emergency.” The revelation that Kara was Supergirl was something they hadn't ever really talked about. It just happened one day that Kara let her cover slip and instead of making it into a big deal, Lena just accepted it.   
“You were screaming. It was an emergency,” the blonde replied. “Do you want to talk about it? The nightmare?”  
“No,” Lena said shaking her head emphatically.   
“How can I help?”  
Lena wrapped her arms protectively around herself and walked from her bedroom. She knew her friend was following her. She sat on her sofa and pulled a blanket over herself. Everything suddenly felt so cold. She pondered Kara's question, and came to only one conclusion.   
“You can't,” she whispered softly, a single tear sliding down her cheek. Kara sat next to her, pulling her into her strong arms and rubbed calming circles on the brunette's back until she fell asleep.

 

The nightmares plagued her day and night. She could remember the feel of his hands and lips on her body and she had to fight the urge to vomit. She was losing it. Why was this happening? She just wanted to live her life and be happy for once. L Corp was doing great, she had Kara, she was happy. She had all she wanted for so long. After months of longing for the blonde, they had begun dating. She was able to finally call the other woman her girlfriend. That alone had her euphoric at times. Until the memories came back. There was simply no reason for her past to come up now and ruin everything. She had worked too hard. Lena rested her head against the back of the couch in her office. She was exhausted.  
“Lena,” Kara called softly stepping fully into the room and closing the door. She wasn't sure if the other woman was sleeping. She surely needed it.  
“Kara,” Lena smiled as best as she could, slowly raising her head to look at her girlfriend. “I wasn't expecting you until later. Is everything okay?”  
“That's what I was going to ask you,” she said sitting down next to the brunette. “The other night, you...”  
“I know,” the CEO interrupted. She wanted so badly to tell her the truth. “It was just a bad dream.”  
“Bad dreams do not...”  
“It happened,” Lena nearly shouted, cutting her off, and standing up. “The nightmare really happened... a long time ago. I don't want to talk about it. I just want to forget. You asked what you could do to help and that's it. Help me forget, please.”  
“Oh Lena,” Kara said standing and wrapping her arms around the other woman, holding her tightly. “I've got you.” All the brunette could do was hold on and cry. She cried for so long by the end she couldn't remember all she cried about, she only knew she felt lighter. She wanted to stay in Kara's arms forever, but life continued whether you wanted it to or not. In this case in the form of Jess's voice over the intercom reminding her she had an appointment in 15 minutes. Before she could respond, Kara had walked over to her desk.  
“Jess, can you cancel the rest of Lena's day and reschedule? She'll be out of the office.”  
“Yes, Miss. Danvers.”  
“Kara? What?”  
“You need to take care of yourself, but you won't, so I'm going to take care of you. And there will be no arguments,” the blonde stated firmly. “Now get your stuff, we're leaving.” Suddenly annoyance rushed across Kara's face. “Crap, it's my Supergirl phone. Just a second,” she said to Lena. “What is it, Alex?... What!?... I'm with her now... I've got this. I'll see you soon.”  
“What is it?” Lena asked when Kara had hung up.  
“You should sit down.”  
“No, please just tell me.”  
“Lena, it's... Lillian and Cadmus helped Lex escape prison.”  
“No,” the young woman cried, all color draining from her face as she sank to the floor. “He can't... he'll come for me.”  
“We don't know that,” Kara said dropping down next to her girlfriend.  
“No, I do. The dreams, it's all going to happen again. I can't... I can't go through it again, Kara. I can't let him touch me again. It was wrong, it was all wrong.”  
“Lena,” the older girl said, gently touching her arm. “What did Lex do to you?” Lena shook her head, lips trembling.  
“Everything,” she whispered before the sobs started.

 

Kara led Lena into the DEO, holding the other woman up. The brunette was so exhausted from fear and crying she could barely stand. Kara had not really known what to do with her. All she knew was that after Lena's confession she couldn't leave her alone. She needed her someplace safe no matter what J'onn or Alex thought. There was no way Lex was getting anywhere near his sister.   
The blonde cut off all protests with a sharp look making her way into one of the on duty sleeping quarters. She lay Lena down in the bed and stroked her hair. They hadn't been together long, but Kara knew she loved her. It broke her heart to see Lena hurt so bad.   
“Lena,” she said softly. “You're safe I promise. Why don't you try to get some rest while I go talk to J'onn and Alex about the situation.” She avoided saying the older Luthor's name knowing that hearing now would only upset her again.   
“You aren't going to tell them what I told you?” Lena asked meekly.   
“No, that is between us. It's yours to tell or not tell,” Kara reassured her girlfriend. Lena nodded and closed her eyes. Fully appreciating the comforting kiss Kara placed on her forehead. She was a little weary of not having the blonde superhero at her side, but knew that she wasn't going to be left anywhere that she wasn't 100% safe. Kara glanced back before leaving and closing the door.  
“Okay, so I know I wasn't technically supposed to bring Lena here,” she said walking over to the superfriends minus James, “but the thing is, the situation is a lot more complicated than we originally thought, and I can not say why so please do not ask. Just know that it's of the utmost importance that Lena be protected 24/7. She absolutely can not be left alone.”  
“I get that you really like her and you're worried,” Alex said placing her hand on Kara's arm. “I really do understand that, but you just walked a Luthor into the DEO. Maybe this is part of their plan?”  
“Alex... really? Lena is not like her family. Hasn't she proven that you to yet? Look at all she's done to help us and to put them away,” Kara stated firmly. “Plus,” she said pulling her sister aside, “There are some personal things that I was told that make me completely certain Lena wants nothing to do with her mother or brother. She is terrified, Alex.”  
“What's done is done,” J'onn interrupted the moment between sisters. “She's here now and we'll deal with it. We have more pressing matters to discuss. Where are we on tracking Lex and Lillian Luthor?” He addressed the question to Winn who shrank a little under scrutiny of the group.   
“We are actually analyzing things and doing grid searches...”  
“We're no where,” Kara stated.  
“That would not be inaccurate,” Winn commented.  
“Do you think that he is going to come for Lena?” Alex asked her little sister.  
“I think it's a very real possibility. There are some things he probably has in mind for her. Aside from the fact that she helped put Lillian away, and that she has spoken out openly against him, there is a personal history that makes her a target for him,” Kara said trying her best not to reveal too much to the group. She knew that J'onn had read Lena's mind the moment they walked through the door and that meant he probably knew what she was talking about. She gave the older man a meaningful look, and he nodded in understanding.  
“We'll keep Miss. Luthor here as long as she wants to stay.”  
“But...” Kara began to protest.  
“We can not keep her if she wants to leave,” he said putting up his hand for silence. “When she does leave she will be under 24 hour protection. She is not to be left alone for so much as a bathroom break. Make sure your team knows that Alex. I'm putting you in charge of her protection detail. Mr. Schott find a way to track Lex and Lillian Luthor. There has to be some way of doing that.”  
The team dispersed and Kara immediately started back toward the room she left Lena in. Alex stopped her with a hand on her arm.  
“Kara, what is going on?” The older Danvers asked.  
“I can't tell you,” Kara said shaking her head. “I want to tell you. I want to tell you more than anything because I don't know if I can handle all this without you, but it isn't my secret to tell and Lena asked me not to say anything.”  
“It's bad?” Alex questioned. Kara nodded her head. “Do you love her?”  
“I do,” Kara smiled shyly.   
“Then she's family,” Alex stated, “and we will keep her safe.”

 

Lena awoke with a scream, shooting up off the bed. She looked around and didn't recognize anything. Sheer panic set in and she was screaming again.   
“Lena! Lena, it's okay,” Kara said rushing into the room. She enveloped the other woman, cooing softly to her, until her body went slack in her arms. “Lena?”  
“Kara?”  
“Yes, open your eyes, it's okay, I promise.” The brunette slowly opened her eyes again and registered the face of her girlfriend. Her senses started coming back to her and she could feel Kara's strong body, and smell her comforting scent.  
“I thought he had me,” Lena said into Kara's shoulder.  
“No, and he isn't going to. You're safe at the DEO. You're safe, Lena,” Kara said stroking the younger woman's hair.   
“Please don't make me go back to sleep,” the brunette pleaded. “I can't take another nightmare. They're just too real.”  
“You don't have to sleep right now.”  
“I want to help,” Lena stated. “I want to help find him. I need to do something.”  
“Well... I'm not sure you can help. I mean technically speaking I wasn't supposed to bring you here so I'm pretty sure there is no way that J'onn is letting you on a computer.”  
“Then take me back to L Corp. I can use resources there. Maybe dig through all the old files I can find and hope that there is something there. Another old warehouse or facility.”  
“If you go back to work, I can't guarantee that they won't be able to get to you,” Kara said. “You would have agents with you, but it's not as safe as you are now. Can't you stay here until we find him?”  
“I understand the risk, but I have to take it,” Lena said pulling back from her girlfriend. “I have a company to run, and I can't run it from here. He may not be found for weeks or months. He may not be found at all. I can't hide out for the rest of my life.”  
“Three days,” Kara begged. “Just give me, give us, three days.” Lena reached out and stroked the blonde's beautiful face. “Please, Lena.”  
“It's not fair for you to pout at me,” she smiled gently. “Fine three days, but only if I can have my laptop and internet access. I have to be able to run the company.”  
“I will make it happen,” Kara said bouncing up and bounding toward the door.  
“Oh, and Kara... as long as I'm stuck here, you are too. You better let Snapper know you won't be in,” Lena smirked.


	3. Extinguishing darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> stuff goes down {shrug}   
> I told you I suck at summaries. :)

Three days had passed far too quickly for Kara's liking. She had been certain that they would locate Lex and Lillian within that time frame, but they didn't have any leads at all. She had tried to convince Lena to stay for another week, but the brunette was having none of it. Kara had even tried pouting, but the other woman was too stubborn even for that. Not that Kara wouldn't try again before she let Lena go with the agents, but she really didn't expect it to work. Plus, it really wasn't fair to ask Lena to put her entire life on hold. It would be so much easier if Lex wasn't a stupid evil genius. Why couldn't he be just like most of the other dumb criminals they had to contend with? That Kara could handle.  
“You look like you're thinking,” Lena said walking over to where her girlfriend sat at the control center.   
“I am. I'm trying to think of a way to make you stay,” Kara pouted.   
“Kara,” Lena sighed. “Don't you understand why I can't?”  
“Yes, because of L Corp,” the blonde sulked.  
“No, not because of L Corp,” Lena said. “Can we go somewhere private?”  
“Of course,” Kara said leading her over to a conference room and closing the door. “What's the matter?”  
“Nothing... well, nothing new,” Lena smirked. “I just didn't want to be overheard. I don't want people to know any of this about me. I wish I didn't know this stuff,” she said looking down at the floor. She paced a moment before stopping in front of Kara. “I was seven the first time anything happened and from that moment on, I was scared of my big brother. He controlled everything I did. I was always waiting for that moment when he would come to me and turn into the monster that haunted my life. I don't want to be afraid anymore. I don't want to give him the power to make me hide away.” Lena finally looked up at the blonde. “Now do you understand why I can't stay here?”  
“I do,” Kara said sympathetically. “I still want you to stay.”  
“I know, and part of me, a big part of me wants to. I'm so scared Kara, but I have to do this. I have to make my life, mine.”  
“I get it, but I'm going to be with you anytime I'm not needed. I can even work on my articles from your office. Don't even bother arguing with me on this,” the blonde said putting her foot down. “You need the best protection and Supergirl is the best protection.” Lena held up her hands in concession. Kara stepped forward and captured her lips in a short kiss. “We really haven't gotten to do that enough.”  
“Agreed,” Lena laughed.  
“So, the plan is we capture Lex and Lillian, throw their asses into the deepest, darkest prison cell we have, and then get our cuddles on.”  
“Best plan ever,” Lena smiled. “Walk me back to work?”  
“Nope, but I will fly you.”  
“You know I hate flying,” the brunette protested.  
“Trust me, with me holding you, you'll love it,” Kara stated. 

 

Kara had been wrong, Lena didn't love it, but it wasn't quite as scary as the other flying she had done. Being back at her office was such a familiar feeling she found herself able to relax into her work and forget momentarily that her deranged family was out there waiting to get her. If it wasn't for the agent standing by her office door, and the one on the balcony, she probably could have forgotten it all together. Trying to completely focus on work for an extended period of time was not happening while being watched by two people. She kind of missed solitude. What she wouldn't give to not hear the agent outside shuffling his feet, and the one in her office chewing gum.   
“Is it at all possible for you both to wait outside?” Lena asked trying to remain kind, but she could hear the annoyance lacing her voice.   
“No ma'am. Our orders are to stay with you at all times,” the agent replied.   
“I”m aware, but standing just on the other side of the door, isn't really leaving me alone. I can leave the door open,” Lena suggested knowing that it wouldn't be that much better than what she had right now.   
“I'm sorry, Ma'am. I understand, but we simply can't leave.”  
“Lena? Why are you asking the nice agents to leave?” Kara asked coming into the office with her bag and two cups of coffee.   
“I'm having trouble focusing with other people around,” Lena said as politely as she possibly could. “I just wanted a little time to work alone.”  
“I know,” Kara said setting the coffee on Lena's desk and coming around to stand in front of the brunette. She placed her hands on her girlfriend's shoulders. “I do understand, but for now, this is the best way to keep you safe,” she leans over and whispers in the younger woman's ear so the agents won't overhear, “Besides, I'm hear now, and wouldn't you rather focus on me?” Lena smiled brightly.   
“Absolutely,” she said gently pulling Kara's face to her own for a scorching kiss. The blonde blushed profusely as she leaned back.   
“You can go now,” she choked out. Both agents tried their best to hold a professional face, but the embarrassed superhero was making it hard. They burst out laughing as soon as they left the office. “You can't just kiss me like that in front of the agents,” Kara admonished though she couldn't quite pull off the seriousness she was going for.   
“I couldn't help myself,” Lena said completely unabashed. She pulled her girlfriend in for another lingering kiss. “Do you want to take this to the couch?” Kara could only nod and allowed herself to be led across the room. Lena gently pushed her down and straddled her lap, kissing her fiercely. This was by far the most kissing they had done and in the most suggestive position. Normally, the brunette would never do something like this in her office, but the two hadn't been alone together in a week. Not really alone anyway. Somebody was always just outside the door at the DEO. Sure, Jess was out there now, but Lena knew without a doubt she would never open that door. It was a conversation they had when the girl had been hired.   
“Lena,” Kara half moaned as she pulled slightly back.   
“Too much?” the brunette asked, breathing heavily.  
“No... Absolutely no,” she assured her girlfriend. “Jess isn't going to come barging in or anything right? I really don't want to be interrupted.”  
“No interruptions,” Lena said running her fingers through blonde locks.   
“I want you so badly,” The blonde practically growled.  
“I feel the same,” the CEO said bringing her lips to her girlfriend's neck and nibbling lightly. “God, you smell so good.”  
“You too... so good... I just want to touch you everywhere.” The blush on Kara's cheeks was prominent. She had never spoken her desires to anyone before.   
“Fuck,” Lena whispered laying her head on Kara's shoulder and breathing in deeply. “You're killing me in the best way possible right now,” she said a small grin playing at her lips. “I wish we were anywhere private right now besides my office.”  
“Me too,” Kara said slowly stroking her partner's back and trying to calm both their breathing. “I seriously do not want to stop, but I know we have to for now. Maybe we can pick this up later tonight back at your place?”  
“Absolutely,” Lena said moving to sit next to the other woman. “Would it be wrong to cancel the rest of my day?” Kara laughed and grabbed her girlfriend's hand.  
“Not wrong, no, but I have to finish this article by the end of day, so I can't cancel mine.”  
“I could go home and entertain myself,” Lena said seductively just to shock the other woman. She was rewarded instantly by Kara's wide open mouth and a look somewhere between scandalized and aroused. Lena would have to file that information away for later. “I suppose I should just stay and carry on with business as usual though.”  
“Umm... so... yeah... work,” Kara stammered. Lena gave her a quick peck before moving back to her desk. 

 

It all happened so quickly that even now Lena wasn't sure she knew exactly what had transpired. One moment she was looking over a project proposal and the next she was watching as Kara's body slumped to the ground. In seconds the room had been invaded through the balcony and both women taken. She came to, chained to a chair in the center of the room, Kara locked in a kryptonite laced cage some ten feet away. She struggled fruitlessly against her bindings. She wasn't going to get out of this with brute strength that she didn't really possess. If she was going to escape from wherever she was with Kara she needed to think. She looked around the room for anything she might be able to use a weapon, or use as a beacon for the DEO. It seemed aside from the two of them nothing else existed in this room.   
“Lena bug, you're awake.” The voice sent chills down her spine. “Bet you didn't think you'd be seeing me again like this. Did you miss me?” Lex whispered in his sister's ear. Lena sat a still as a statue, physically unable to move or form words. “Come on, Lee, you can tell me. It's just us. Together again,” he said stroking her face.   
“Stop,” Lena said her voice barely audible.   
“Why? Because of her?” He asked motioning to the lifeless blonde. “Do you know how disappointed I was when I found out you were spending so much time with a Super? Throwing yourself at one. You're above that, sister. I knew I had to take you back. You've forgotten everything I taught you. It's okay though,” he said caressing her softly. “I can teach you again.”  
“Don't touch her,” Kara spit out. Her head was throbbing, and her body was wracked with pain, but her first instinct was to protect the woman she loved. She didn't know quite how to do that when she couldn't even get up, but she was going to try.  
“Good, I wanted you awake for this,” Lex laughed. “I wanted you to see with your own eyes, how much she loves me. Not you. You may have thought she was yours, but I marked her long ago. You haven't even gotten a chance to see that yet, have you? Well then, today is your lucky day. You'll finally get to see my beautiful Lena in all her glory, consumed with desire. And then you'll die.”  
“Let her go,” Kara stated firmly. Damn it, why couldn't she move?  
“Don't do this, Lex,” Lena pleaded. The fear in her voice causing it to shake.   
“I know you've forgotten how in love we were before mother separated us. I'm sorry I couldn't speak up then. I've told her now, how it is though. She accepts you are the one I want, and because of that, she isn't going to stop me. We don't have long though, Lee. She's expecting us to meet up tomorrow. Don't fight me,” he says removing her clothing slowly. Putting on a show for his caged guest. “I said don't fight.” He slaps Lena hard across the face. “I don't want to hurt you, bug, so don't make me.”  
“I don't want this, Lex. If you do this, you are raping me.” It was the first time Lena was able to speak up to her brother. The first time she was able to say those words.   
“You're confused. She's confused you. Aliens do that, baby. It's what they want. They want us to worship them like Gods and bow at their feet giving into their every twisted desire,” Lex said using a knife to slit open her bra. “You've only gotten more beautiful.” His eyes gazed hungrily over her breasts.   
“STOP!” Lena yelled. Kara cried out. Her inability to do anything making her sick. No matter how hard she fought to get up, she simply didn't have the strength. Lex leaned down, forcing a kiss on his sister. Lena could only try to move her head back. There was no give in her bindings. He pulled back and continued undressing her. Cutting off her skirt and panties.   
“I've dreamed of this moment for so long. Admittedly not with the audience, but I'm liking that more and more,” he said with a salacious gaze toward his sister. He tossed the knife aside and reached out cupping the brunette's breast. “God Lena, how you've grown.”  
“Get off her!” Tears streamed down the kryptonian's face. She had never felt more helpless in her entire life. Not even when she watched her planet disappear from that pod.   
“You really think you're in a position to make demands?” He said focusing his attention on Kara. “You're practically dead already,” he laughed. “You know what, I'm feeling generous. If you keep your mouth shut and let me have my moment with Lena, I won't kill you when I'm done. I'll leave you to die slowly in that cage. Who knows maybe someone will rescue you.” He laughed at that. No one was coming for her, because he left no trace. He wasn't stupid, and he had years to plan this moment.   
“If you leave me alive, I'll hunt you down and kill you.” Kara had never been more serious in her life.  
“Have it your way. It doesn't matter what you say anyway because Lena is mine. Do you see that?” He motions to a series of scars along the top of Lena's inner thigh. Up to this point, Kara had been doing her best not to look at her girlfriend, exposed in the chair, but as she looked closer she realized what she was seeing. He had marked her... with his name. He smiled triumphantly at the look on the alien's face. “That's right, you see it. My name has been there for a very long time and on her heart even longer.”  
“It's been on there since I was thirteen,” Lena says refusing to cry. Refusing to go down without a fight. “You remember the first time you raped me, right Lex? How I cried, and told you not to. I said it hurt and you didn't care. You did what you wanted and then carved your name into me. It never meant I was yours. Not to me.”  
“Why are you saying this?” He snapped. “Are you trying to make me angry? You know that's not what happened. We were together almost a year before we made love. You wanted it just as much as I did.”  
“No, I didn't. I was a child. I wanted someone to love me, but not like that. It was wrong then, and it's wrong now,” Lena stated. “Let us go. We won't tell anyone where you are. You can escape with mother and do whatever it is you two have planned.”  
“No, I can't do that,” he said to his sister. He knelt before her. “I need you Lee. I need you by my side. Don't you see what you mean to me? It's not just about owning you. I do love you.”  
“You love the power and if you had to chose, that's what you would pick. Right now... this... bullshit that's coming out of your mouth. I don't believe any of it. It is about owning me, and controlling me, but I'm not a little girl anymore. You may be able to do what you want with me today, but I will fight you every day for the rest of my life. I will never submit to you. I will never be broken by you again. So just shut the fuck up and get on with it or let us go.”  
“Lena, no,” Kara yelled.   
“It's all a game to him, Kara. Don't let him win.”  
“Little sister, little sister... you surprised me. I thought if I fed you all those lines, you'd be falling all over me like you always did,” Lex said standing. “You've changed, but not enough. Do you know what words like that do to me? The challenge you've set? You took the game up another notch. Now it's not just about fucking you tonight, it's about breaking you down all over again. Something tells me it's going to be more difficult this time. I like that. It was too easy before.”  
“Because I was seven!” Lena yells.  
“Because you were weak. Don't use age as an excuse,” Lex said. “That's your problem, bug. You make excuses. Except your failures as your own and grow from them.”  
“Maybe you're right, Lex.”  
“No, he's not. Don't listen to him Lena. You are a million times stronger than he'll ever be.”  
“And a million times smarter.” A familiar voice calls striding into the room. Alex raises her gun and points it at the elder Luthor. “Get the hell away from her.”  
“How?”  
“I repeat, get the hell away from her.” Lex backed up. Lena is at once relieved and mortified. She knows if Alex is here than so are a whole bunch of DEO agents, and she does not want anyone else seeing her naked today. “I told you,” Alex said, striding toward the cage where Kara lays. “She's a million times smarter than you. She planted a tracker on herself.”  
“That wouldn't work in here,” Lex sneers.   
“It would if it was made with an experimental alloy that L Corp is developing. There are only two places that particular alloy is located. At L Corp and in Lena.” Kara looks at Lena in awe. “Lay down on the ground very slowly.” Alex commands. Lex appears to comply, but then quickly makes a run for it. Alex shots him without batting an eye. “Kara hand me your cape, please.”  
“I can't,” the blond says. “I can't move.” Alex sees a small box on the back of the cage and shots it. The door immediately unlatches. She walks in and grabs the cape from her sister and walks over to place it on Lena, covering her.   
“All clear,” Alex says over the comm. “Don't worry guys, we'll have you out of here and back at the DEO in no time.”

 

Lena would never be able to thank Alex and Winn enough for rescuing them. Not that she hadn't tried on the ride back to the DEO. She had remained strong and stoic the entire time. She had gushed her gratitude and held Kara's hand as they rode back in the ambulance. She had been exposed to so much kryptonite it was going to take quite awhile in the sunbed to get her strength back. The adrenaline of the moment had been all that Kept the blonde conscious through the ordeal. Once in the safety of the ambulance she passed out. Lena stayed by her side. Insisting she didn't need any medical check, that nothing had happened to her and she was fine. Which was only a partial lie, because physically she was fine.   
“Hey beautiful,” Kara said smiling up at the brunette. “How long have I been out?”  
“Seventeen hours,” Lena replied smiling back running her fingers through blonde locks.   
“How many of those were you asleep?” Kara asked knowing the answer already.  
“Barely awake and already chastising me,” Lena teased. “I don't want to sleep.”  
“Lena,” Kara said sitting up and swinging her legs over the side of the bed to face her girlfriend. “Be honest, are you okay?”  
“No,” Lena said holding back a sob. “It was so scary. I felt it all over again. I knew there was nothing I could do to stop him from doing what he wanted with me and killing you. I felt so helpless.” She finally succumbed to the tears, laying her head in the superhero's lap.  
“You were amazing, Lena, truly. You didn't back down from him. You didn't give in. You stood up to him. I was so proud and honestly a little angry, because at one point I just wanted you to stop antagonizing him... I get it,” Kara said quickly before Lena had the chance to protest. “You had a plan. You were buying as much time as you could. How is it that I didn't know about this tracker?”  
“I wanted to tell you, but Alex thought it was better if you didn't know. Something about not being able to keep a secret,” Lena said wiping at her tears. “I don't know what's going to happen now.”  
“He's going to be locked up here,” Kara said immediately.  
“Not with Lex, with me,” Lena said. “I have a lot to work through. I'm... so broken, Kara. I don't expect you to stick around while I deal with all this. I just know that I can't shove it back down inside me anymore. This is the first time I've confronted what happened. The first time I've ever been able to admit that what happened to me was not my fault. The first time I've been able to admit that I was molested and raped. I need to talk about it and move passed it. It's not something that is going to happen overnight.”  
“Hey, I'm not going anywhere. I'm in it for the long haul,” Kara said tilting her girlfriend's face up gently. “I love you and I'm never going to walk away. We're all broken in our way, Lena. You've been helping me put myself back together since we met.”  
“I love you too.” Lena stood and placed a soft kiss on the blonde's lips. “Stronger together,” she smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that's it... I hope you all enjoyed it.


End file.
